The Me That Was

What is this inside of me, I try to explore

but all i see is a deep void that fills my core.

Who is this, this isn’t me, the me that used to be..

Where is he lost, the me that was?

When my mind is empty I try to think of

God's wonder that is this World..

But all that comes to my mind is the filth in this world around..

The dark clouds covering my mind and shadowing like a monster..

all i can think of is of no worth..

What brings shivers to my spine is that this isn’t me , a devil that has taken hold of me

And i ask the question to you O Lord!

Where is he lost, the me that was...?

I loved to love and hated to hate..

but this me fears to love and doesn’t care to hate..

I dint care what the world thought of me..

but this heart fears everything around, afraid to leave its own shell..

so he may be safe from everything around..

But alas! its eating me up to wonder and yet find no answer..

Lord! O lord! send me an angel who would fight the devil and let me find again.. THE ME THAT WAS...

Why?

Why do these eyes shed these tears..

Why don’t they dry up and dry up forever?

Why does this heart ever beat for someone?

Why can’t it be content just beating for none?

Why does this mind wander into someone’s beautiful thoughts?

Why doesn’t it just wander into the unknown darkness?

Why does this heart long for the memories of that someone?

Why doesn’t it long for the hollowness of the dark…?

Why do these hands rise in prayer so that one maybe mine?

Why don’t they rise so that they may not need someone?

Why does this heart dare to dream over and over again?

Why doesn’t it wish for the state of not dreaming?

Why do I long for each breath to see the next moment?

Why don’t I long so I may not need to breathe again?